LSU (SEC) 2009

College: LSU (SEC)

Year:   2009

Games:   LSU 33 Arkansas 30

Rating:  9 out of 10

Cost:  Moderate

Tickets:   Moderate

Stadium:   Excellent

Description: I use the following story to describe why SEC football is fundamentally different.  I’m sure Polychronopolis is sick of hearing the story but it did happen.  (This particular trip is also Polychronopolis' low point regarding football trips. He DID NOT attend because of some forgettable, shitty wedding.  At this point in Polychronopolis' life there is NO EXCUSE as to why he has not been to New Orleans.  He’s clearly a ENGLISH CIGARETTE for missing this trip and a FUCKING ENGLISH CIGARETTE for never having gone to New Orleans.)
Back to the story:  Tiger Stadium is surrounded by acres of fields.  Some are recreational athletic fields and some are just large grassy areas.  This makes for an extremely large and active tailgate.  Park League and I were walking across this field on the way to the stadium and from a distance we observed what appeared to be the head of an animal.  It should be noted that LSU was playing their rival Arkansas who’s mascot is a Razorback (which is an angry and dangerous pig).  Park League and I were pretty hung over from our previous night in New Orleans so we weren’t necessarily firing on all cylinders.  As we got closer to this object we marveled at how “lifelike” it looked.  When we finally got up close we realized that the head was, indeed, real as there was blood dripping down the stake that the head was mounted on.  It was 100% Lord of the Flies.  This sums up SEC football to me.  They take it serious down there. A mounted Pigs head distracted a couple of northerners for a second, but it certainly didn’t phase anyone tailgating at LSU.

               As far as the game:  the atmosphere was superior.  I actually think that, for a big game, this has to be the best atmosphere in the country (maybe the world, for any even,  all things considered).  I can’t be sure of this unless I am lucky enough to attend something like the 2012 Alabama @ LSU game….one can dream…but how much money would you have paid to go to that game in retrospect? 

               Personally I need to go back to LSU in the near future to 1) properly experience the tailgate and 2) check out the campus a bit.   Park League and I were too hung over to experience all LSU had to offer (but we did get a proper taste of New Orleans). Post game we grabbed a pizza at the Mellow Mushroom, which is a pretty good pizza chain (with a bar) located south of the Mason-Dixon line.

Misc:  This game is the same weekend as the Grambling vs. Southern game. Park League and I got into New Orleans on a Friday and hung out in the French Quarter. The Gramblilng and Southern fans took over the Quarter and were going CRAZY.  I've never seen anything like it for just a run of the mill rivalry game.  

Don’t Miss:  The Tailgate, New Orleans
If you want to make it part of a bigger trip:  Well, New Orleans isn't too far away.

Avoid:    Getting too drunk the night before the game

Attendees:  Bones, Park League

Game Recap:  http://scores.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=293320099

Iowa (Big 10) 2009

College:  Iowa (Big 10)

Year:   2009        

Games:   Northwestern 17 Iowa 10

Rating:  6 out of 10

Cost:  Moderate

Tickets:   Easy

Stadium:   Kinnick is surprisingly excellent, renovation was first class and it sits at a perfect spot.  Good Feng Shui

Description:  Iowa games are kind of a microcosm of Big 10 football: it’s a competent, slightly boring experience that can’t really compare to the SEC, Big 12, Pac 12, ACC or the Sun Belt (just kidding, I think, never actually been to a Sun Belt game).   

The game itself was actually really good.  Iowa came in undefeated and Northwestern came out and ruined their season.  Northwestern's defense played a great game, had a great game plan and played hard all day.  If their purple uniforms weren't so dumb looking they would be easier to root for. After the game the Iowa fans weren't too happy.  Every dude looked like he wanted to throw down.  This is in the state that has it's own MMA league and televises the fights on local TV.  

Post game was fairly lame, though we did see a creepy 40 year old dude trying to dance with 22 year old girls. God bless him.

Don’t Miss:  Kinnick Stadium
If you want to make it part of a bigger trip:  Try and find a weeknight game in Ames.  The twin cities are about 4.5 hours north, Chicago is about 3.5 hours east. 

Avoid:    Spending too much time there

Attendees:  Bones, Col Hans Landa, Polychronopolus

Game Recap:  http://scores.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=293112294

Tennessee (SEC) 2009

College:  Tennessee (SEC)

Year:   2009

Games:   Tennessee 31 South Carolina 13

Rating:  8 out of 10

Cost:  Low

Tickets:   Difficult

Stadium:   Excellent

Description: This is how I feel about this game:

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you private?
Cowboy: Sir, five foot nine, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! You tryin' to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?
Cowboy: Sir, no sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you been cheated! Where in the hell are you from anyway, private?
Cowboy: Sir, Texas, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Holy dog shit! Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?
Cowboy: Sir, no sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Are you a peter puffer?
Cowboy: Sir, no sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I'll bet you're the kinda guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you.

  

Knoxville is an excellent town, this was a night game on Halloween during Tennessee’s only decent year in recent memory but we got CHEATED……by the weather.  It rained like hell the entire day, so I want to go back once UT is decent and it’s a goddamn nice day out because I think this would be one of the best spots to see a game….especially a BIG game.  I will say this, overall we’ve been very fortunate regarding weather.  Out of 30 plus games this is the only one I can think of where the weather impacted the game in a negative way.  Here’s hoping Butch Jones can right the ship there because you have the potential of a Nashville weekend with a UT game tossed in to sweeten the pot = as good of a weekend one can have in the United States of America.

Misc: Well we saw a game during Lane Kiffin’s one and done Tennessee season.  I heard an awful rendition of “No Rain” on the way to the game down by the river.

Don’t Miss:  The riverfront before the game
If you want to make it part of a bigger trip:  Nashville is three hours away.  Blacksburg is 4 hours east and they always play at least one Thursday night game a year.  The Smokey Mountains are just south of Knoxville.  Three hours from Atlanta.

Avoid:    Shitty weather

Attendees:  Bones, Polychronopolus, Dave

Game Recap:  http://scores.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=293042633

Virginia Tech (ACC) 2009

College:  Virginia Tech (ACC)

Year:   2009        

Games:   North Carolina 20 Virginia Tech 17

Rating:  7 out of 10

Cost:  Moderate

Tickets:   Easy

Stadium:   Lane Stadium was pretty old, in need of a renovation. Nothing special about it, but the campus itself is very pretty and well put together.  

Description:  Honestly, I went to this game expecting the Virginia Tech experience to be one of the best and walked away a little disappointed.  It’s not bad by any stretch, but it’s just kind of boring.  The crowd wasn’t anything special, the tail gate wasn’t anything special, the stadium was pedestrian, there wasn’t anything going on after the game.  I mean, fuck, we left early we were so bored (and we missed a comeback by UNC).  Most of the places that one travels to in life can be summed up as follows:  I’m glad I went but I’m in no rush to go back.  This is exactly how I feel about VT.   

Having said all this there is absolutely no excuse not to see a game here because its location is perfect for a Thursday/Saturday “Two Birds With One Stone”.  As stated before if you really want to catch all of the great college atmospheres out there you need to take advantage of the Thursday/Saturday set up.  VT embraces the Thursday night games and usually plays at least one a year, sometimes two.  It is in a really beautiful area of the country (Shenandoah Valley – not sure if the campus is actually in the valley but it’s close by).  You can pivot this pretty easily with Tennessee, West Virginia and any of the schools in the Carolinas.    

Don’t Miss:  Thursday night games are their calling card, walk through the center of the campus
If you want to make this part of a larger trip: You are more or less in the Shenandoah valley, you are two hours from Charlottesville and Skyline Drive.  Three hours from Knoxville and the Smokey Mountains. Four hours from Morgantown, WV.

Avoid:    Trying to find your way around that campus without a map or GPS handy. You might end up looking like you are stalking the University President.

Attendees:  Bones, Polychronopolus, Dave

Game Recap:  http://scores.espn.go.com/ncf/recap?gameId=293020259

Notre Dame (Independent) 2009

College:  Notre Dame (Independent)

Year:   2009

Games:   Notre Dame 35 Nevada 0

Rating:  8 out of 10

Cost:  High

Tickets:   Difficult

Stadium:   Excellent

Description:  This really is a shrine and should be attended once by every college football fan. More than once really as they have so many excellent traditions and a great set up.  No matter where you sit in Notre Dame Stadium the action is close.  Some of the seats are 10ft from the action (Think Reggie Bush pushing Matt Leinart over the goal line).  The crowd is loud and into the game.  

We went to a throw away game in 2009 against Nevada (though it did feature Colin Kaepernick at QB).  We tried to go to the Penn State Notre Dame game in 2008 and couldn’t get in but we did end up watching the game at “Legends of Notre Dame” which was a pretty good consolation prize.  There is no excuse as a college football fan to not attend a game here.  Even a substandard opponent is worth the trip.

Misc:  Don’t worry about parking, they have that covered!  Best parking management team in the world, or so they claim, and I believe it!  

Also, it’s the proper time to pay tribute to “Dave”.  “Dave” is a dog who has been faithfully serving various forms of travel for years.  It’s not always fun for him but he hangs right in there and does his part for the pack.  At the Notre Dame vs. Penn State game we found ourselves in a bind. It was too hot to leave Dave in the truck, but he certainly could not go to the game with us.  We ended up letting him sit under the truck with some water. Not risky by, let’s say, 1975 standards but I’m kind of surprised we didn’t catch any shit in 2009. 

Notre Dame is a church in Paris but they are the Fighting Irish?  Not sure how that happened.

Don’t Miss:  Notre Dame Stadium, player greetings after the game, Legends of Notre Dame, Linebackers
If you want to make it part of a bigger trip:  Chicgago is 90 minutes away, Ann Arbor & East Lansing are a couple of hours.  Detroit is a couple of hours.  You could plan a beercation in Michigan.

Avoid:    Any part of South Bend that isn’t the Notre Dame campus

Attendees:  Bones, Polychronopoulus, Col Hans Landa, Dave

Game Recap:  http://scores.espn.go.com/ncf/recap?gameId=292480087